My Husband Never Fails Me.......

A tall order i know, but among the many things John is amazing at, one inparticular is being thoughtful.  He is thoughtful ALL the time (and no, i don't mean he remembers things....silly, he is a man afterall), i just mean he is fantastic at putting thought into doing things for people to make them feel good.

Mother's Day this year was no exception!  I got spoilt rotten and i am glad for every second of it!  :-)

My Sunday morning started with my traditional English breakfast in bed: sausages, fried eggs, stewed tomatoes, toast, and he even added his own idea of a fresh fruit cup with nutella as a side for dipping (boy does he know me!).  Mum was also given the same and she hopped into my bed and we sat and had breakfast in bed together. 

Then as i was eating breakfast i was overwhlemed with multiple glitter card creations from my darling children.  I have to admit my favorite was Eden's that said, "I'll always love you no matter where we are".  That note has so many meanings to me on so many different levels and was definitely a tear jerker for me. 

Then John apeased me by taking lots of photos of me and the kids and also me and mum on the front porch before going to church.  The night before John also had bought me tulips (my favorite) and chocolate covered strawberries.  My mother bought me zucchini plants for my gardern which she planted for me and a mini double headed putunia plant.  I also got this special jewelery we had seen at the Knoxville Farmers Market the day before at Market Square, where the lady puts a photo into glass and makes a pendant out of it.  John was sneaky and ordered one for me with a photo of all four children in it.  She is in the process of making it for me now.  :-)

Then Sunday afternoon we went to the Schutzes/Claytons to spend time with some of our most favorite people in the world and had dinner, which John and Vaughn made for us all.  That was topped with key lime pie that Amanda bought for me. ;-)  Man was i spoit or what?  I told you i was. 

I am truly grateful to me married to my husband and to have the kids i have, they are such a huge blessing in my life.  I am grateful for my mother who is constantly teaching me.  It was such a wonderful blessing this year that i got to be with my mother, who i had previously not seen in almost 2 1/2 years.  It is a huge blessing to us all here that she is now living with us (hopefully she won't leave any time soon,  ;-)) She is amazing in many ways and i am glad that through all of the day's celebrations she was there with me. 

Pagan Traditions And Other Such Non-Sense......

Well we have many of those don't we?  Things we try turn into Christian holidays that then because of "political correctness" we again turn back into nothingness.....(no joke on a Blue Clues VHS we own from when Iman was a baby they refer to Valentine's Day as Love Day, yep it's true!) well except an excuse for someone to make money.  It always amazes me how much sooner each year the next holiday's decorations and merchandise comes out.  There really isn't a break any more.  We just go from one money maker to the next and buy into it all.  Thinking and feeling that our children or loved ones deserve it all. But they deserve much more, or time an attention really.  In my opinion if you want to make the holiday meaningful then make a resolve to show them everyday how much you love them.  

When i was at Wal-mart on Saturday, trying not to get sucked in myself, i noticed that Wal-mart actually had some Easter things out too.  So i guess now we don't even have to wait for one holiday to be over!  ;-)

As i stood in the store and pondered what i could do to surprise my kids (i hadn't actually planned on doing anything as usually Valentine's Day has been reserved for just John and I in my mind, but Eden specifically asked and i told her no, so i decided to surprise them anyway) I couldn't help but be bothered at how cheap all the products were, like awful chocolate that no one really enjoys eating, and ugly stuffed animals and over priced flowers that don't smell, because after all it is winter.  I didn't want to spend ANY of my hard earned money of anything like that.  I was even almost tempted as there was actually a cute little box of chocolate covered animal crackers that had been decorated as a monkey and Sarah LOVES monkeys.  Then i looked on the back of the package at the nutritional information (sorry force of habit) and notice that there were only 7 cookies in it.  It was three dollars....not a huge sum of money i know, but when you have 4 kids it adds up and I'm afriad that 12 dollars for something that is essentially junk and will in a week or so be forgotton, just doesn't seem justified anymore.

It was then i that i was inspired in the middle of the isle to make my own treat for them.  Duh!  Why didn't i just think of it before?  I decided to make giant sugar cookies and frost them myself with the kids' names on them.  i knew that anything bigger than normal would be thrilling to them and i am happy to report that it was.

So did i get sucked in?  Perhaps a little, but i do make cookies for them all the time anyway and "a little magic in our lives is always a good thing!" (a little tribute to the show i am in with my husband and kids this week  ;-))

I don't really know how or when Valentine's Day started.  I am pretty sure that what we do and celebrate today is not quite what was originally intended.  But this i do know....i love my whole family and my dear sweet friends each and everyday, no matter what the occasion or lack thereof either.  :-)

Eden's Baptism

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints a child may be baptized when they are 8 years old.  This is a decision that they make alone.  We believe that before this age children are not fully accountable and are therefore sinless.  Children are covered under the Atonement of Jesus Christ until they gain sufficient knowledge to be accountable for their own actions.  It is important to John and i that the decision to become baptized and become a member of the Church is one they make by themselves with full knowledge of what they are doing...of what they are covenanting to do.  

In Alma Chapter 7 verses 15 & 16 it says:  

15. Yea, I say unto you come and fear not, and lay aside every sin, which easily doth beset you, which doth bind you down to destruction, yea, come and go forth, and show unto your God that ye are willing to repent of your sins and enter into a covenant with him to keep his commandments, and witness it unto him this day by going into the waters of baptism.       UAdd a Note 

16. And whosoever doeth this, and keepeth the commandments of God from thenceforth, the same will remember that I say unto him, yea, he will remember that I have said unto him, he shall have eternal life, according to the testimony of the Holy Spirit, which testifieth in me.

The covenants made are found in Mosiah Chapter 18 verses 8-10:

     UAdd a Note 

 8. And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;     UAdd a Note 

 9. Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—     UAdd a Note 

 10. Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

On December 5th, 2010 Eden was baptized. She had previously made this decision and was extremely excited about it.  Honoring and keeping those covenants is a weekly process.  And as she goes to church and partakes of the sacrament she renews those covenants with Heavenly Father.  We all fall short from time to time, but she has the promise of her Heavenly Father now, that if she does her best she will have his Spirit to be with her, and nothing is more valuable and lasting in life than that.

I am so pleased at Eden's decision.  I know it will serve her well in life to have the companionship of the Holy Ghost.  I know that it will teach her truth and help lead and guide her in her life to accomplish the most important things that her Heavenly Father has for her to do.  I know it will bring her true joy as it has done and continues to do for me.

I was surprised on the afternoon as her baptism was about to begin at how many people came to show their love and support.  I would guess that there was somewhere between 40-50 friends there and i don't know if Eden noticed, but i did and felt overwhelmed with love.  The only down side to that many people was that Eden had asked me to play the violin and that meant performing in front of a lot of people...to say i was nervous was an understatement as this was my first public performance ever, but i think i did alright and mostly Eden loved it which was the whole point anyway. John was the one who baptized her as he has the Priesthood and also along with some good friends confirmed her too.  I cannot speak for him in his experience of being able to do that for his daughter so i will let him comment on that if he so chooses.

Eden was gorgeous in her white dress and looked just like a princess.  She wrote in her journal about her experience and noted that she felt the Spirit, was freezing because the water was somewhat chilly, was scared that when she went into the water her dress would float and people would see her underwear (which didn't happen), that she wished Nana could be there to see her and that she was happy afterwards.

Thanks to all who came and made this very special moment in Eden's life filled with lots of love.

 Before church that morning.....she decided to wear her white dress all day before the baptism as the baptism was after church.

 Waiting for it all to begin......

My little princess!

Significant Moments and No Such Things as Coincidences...

When i reflect back on my life thus far and think about all the moments that lead me to today i cannot help but feel blessed, blessed in the witness that is clearly before me that there are no coincidences with an all-powerful, all-knowing God.

Some of the first significant memories i have are that of Missionaries coming to our home in England. No doubt i had no idea what was going on at the time, but i do remember these men frequently coming to our home to sit in our living room....and that they were fun and for whatever reason i looked forward to them coming....

I remember moving to Bury St. Edmunds and (my memory at least, which could be flawed as i was a child) that my dad "bumped" into Mike Muller....who happened to be the branch President of the Bury Branch...my parents at that point had not been going to church....how little did we realize how significant Mike was and his family in our lives as we came back to church.

I remember for some primary activity of some sort, my mother needing to write down on a card one word that described me and she put that i was kind. That helped define who i was and who i would be....

I remember my father being my Valiant teacher in primary at church and teaching me the importance of reading our scriptures....nice, neat, clean, and in good condition scriptures did us no good if it meant that they weren't being used....he used an analogy of them being in a nice box and kept safe under our beds....

I remember my sister playing with me all the time, laughing till it hurt with me and her being my best friend and ALWAYS wanting to be like her...that continued on throughout my life...she is to this day an amazing role model of what it means to be like Christ, to give people the benefit of the doubt and to be strong even when it's hard....

We moved to the United States of America...one of the most significant things in my life thus far as everything else that has happened to me would not have happened without being here.

I remember Nonette Gordon teaching me in a Merrie Miss class that we should think of prayer like a phone conversation....we need to be still...and give Heavenly Father a chance to talk back to us.....

I can never forget the great, dear kindness of Elizabeth Butler, Debbie Boyle, and Christina Repka, who taught me that i was lovable and worth something....during my high school years these girls did more for me than they could ever know. I am grateful to Heavenly Father for loving me enough to send them to me amidst the storms of life....

Likewise i am grateful for the blessing of Wendy Magda and Hugh Heisler, who took me in and treated my like a sister...Wendy was my inspiration for Dental Hygiene which proved extremely significant in my life....

Making the decision (regretfully at the time) to go to Harcum College to study Dental Hygiene was extremely significant....there i had a "mighty change" as i realized that being a member of the church meant "I" had to do it....alone as well and that it therefore had to mean something.....i prayed then to know if the church was true and was so flooded with blessings and knowledge and understanding that i could not deny it. It would be here that i would meet Lesley Gable, who would later join the church herself....where i met Tamara Robertson, who was nothing less than a God-sent angel....because of Tamara, i was able to be prepared for the MOST significant thing in my life....John.

If i hadn't moved to the US i wouldn't have met John....if i hadn't gone to Harcum College (my back-up school at the time that i cried about going to, lol) i would not have met John. If Tamara wasn't my friend John and all his wonders would have been too much for me....

On the other side of things if Sara Schutz hadn't opened her mouth 16 years ago and followed the Spirit, and shared the gospel with John i also would not have met and married him. I remember to this day on the day of my wedding, when i met the Schutzes for the first time, John telling me later how Vaughn and Sara "approved" of me and got a sense that i was a great spirit, that i was "good"...that meant so much to me and helped me again decide and come to know who i was. They are so spiritually gifted it's unlike anything i have ever seen before in my whole entire life. I value their thoughts and opinions greatly...they too are God-sent angels....they are parents...little did i know that 8 years down the road i would be living on their farm with them....no coincidences!

Back to me, back to John, back to me....(little old spice plug there) John taught me to look for truth....to question, to ask, to seek, to find answers i never knew the question existed to before....I was sling-shotted forward spiritually after i met John. This still in part to what he had learnt from the Schutzes, but at this point post-mission had become a part of who he was...a seeker of truth. Long before John became a therapist he started doing therapy on me, lol. There's nothing quite as painful i think as real therapy because it requires a lot of change and change is hard....almost feels impossible depending on what it is....but i now know it's always possible and that you can always be better than you are today....John taught me to let go of my pride that i thought defined me, he taught me to talk again, he taught me to trust, and that no matter what when you know God's will and you do it, you always have what you need. It has been our journey and he has been my strength through it all. John also taught me that i was beautiful and good and worthy. He made me feel unique and important and capable. He believes in me and this too has helped me to know who i am. There's only so many times a day you can hear, "you're so beautiful i just don't have the words for it" and not completely believe it. I am beautiful; he taught me to believe. He makes me feel like a Queen. John is my most significant moment....

Moving 9 times in 9 years of marriage is significant to me too. I have learnt that it doesn't matter where you are, BUT that you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. The Lord has always rewarded me for following him, even when to the rest of the world, or our friends, or our family judged us and thought we looked like crazy-heads. The Lords ways are not ours and he has a better idea of what makes us happy and the experiences we need to have in life to bring us to Him.

I could write too much about each of my children, but it suffices me at this point in time to say that they are each individually significant....they are noble and great....it says a lot to me about who i am and what the Lord trusts me with that he gave me Immanuel, Eden, Sarah, and Jack. They have so much to teach me. They are my friends...they make me try as hard as i do to be a good mother...they are the reason why being poor was worth it so that I could raise them and not a day-care center. We needed each other and I'll give up vacations and fancy cars any day for that, for them.

My brother is significant....he made me want to be a good example....he reminds me that i promised i wouldn't do to my kids what my parents did to me....it's hard to explain, but he keeps me in check and reminds me (without realizing he's doing it) to not judge and most of all to not be a hypocrite. He reminds me to trust and give the benefit of the doubt....he calls me all the time and it warms my heart that he loves me enough to not let too much time go past without seeing how I'm doing, or asking me for advice, or just saying hello. He is a loyal and loving husband to his wife and for some reason i cannot explain, there is great comfort in that for me.

Living in Morrisville, Pennsylvania was a significant event. We were led to buy a house in which Angel Buddenbaum would be our "duplex" neighbor (actually we moved into our homes the same exact day). Angel taught me much and again the Lord worked his magic and Angel joined the church. Through that experience i gained confidence in myself to recognize when i was receiving revelation. She taught me to love unconditionally. She taught me what it meant to "give the shirt off your back." She helped me honor my temple covenants and helped me begin to understand consecration.

Living on the Sweet dream Farm here in Tennessee was an extremely significant experience....it was purifying....it has changed me quicker spiritually than any other experience in my life. It's like i was on fast forward spiritually while i was there...could i expect less with amazing people surrounding me? I had no idea what i was in for. The Lord told us to be there and we did it. I wouldn't take ANY amount of money or luxury or wealth and trade it for that, not in a million years. There are not quite the words to express the value in having had this experience.

Being in the Cumberland Gap Ward is significant for me too. There has never been a place in all my life where i have met so many loving, giving, truly genuine people. I have more friends than i have ever had in my life at any given moment. These people are the kind of people that know what it means to love....to love the Lord, to love their country, their fellow man. I have been so blessed by the kindness of the Cumberland Gap Ward it is overwhelming. I love living here in Tennessee, in the South too. Here, people aren't afraid to talk about Christ...it's not politically incorrect to mention religion....it's a way of life. They are good to the core...not without their faults, but then no one is. They are kind and real and my love for them grows each day. Sometimes i think it's too good to be true. I hope i have there company in Heaven.

There are more significant experiences in my life of course, but for now these are the ones i felt inspired to write about. Nothing remedies a "woe is me" session better than thinking about the infinite blessings and significant events of ones life. Truly nothing is left to chance, everything is an intricately woven thread in the great quilt of life...we don't know the pattern when we begin, but everything comes together perfectly and it envelopes us with warmth. Today was a hard day, but i feel remedied now.

Here are a few old pics of some of these significant memories as they happened to be captured. Thank you for reading.

Me (hard to guess i know!) at my 4th birthday party

My wonderful sister, Louise.

My amazing brother, Jamie, and his now wife, Candice, in our home in Pennsylvania.

Christina Repka....my senior year of HS and her junior year.

Debbie Boyle, Me, and Elizabeth Butler at my high school graduation.

This represents my memory of Harcum College,
taken just outside the dorms in Bryn Mawr, PA. It was a beautiful place!

Tamara Robertson and I in San Diego, CA. Oh how I love this lady!

Lesley Gable and I at my college graduation, May 2000.

(L to R) Tamara, Lesley, Wendy, Louise (my sister), Elizabeth, Debbie.
Interestingly enough all of my bridesmaids were mentioned in this blog...i really hadn't thought about it and didn't even intentionally do this,
but i guess that's why i picked them....no coincidences!
These are significant and amazing women! ;-)

Sara and Vaughn with us on our wedding day.

Angel Buddenbaum - really an angel!

Fun on the farm!

My great ones!

Loves of His Life

Gorgeous! Look at those good genes! If we can only work it right, we could have beautiful grandchildren together...nope, we're not opposed at all to the arranged marriage of Jack and Evelyn...he he he...

See what i mean? Simple gorgeous!

He LOVES her, really!

He also loves his "neighs" among other things...

Trying to share his beloved "neighs" with his Beloved! ;-)

This is a good picture to help remind them of their love for each other...
she likes his "neighs" too...

Head over heals for each other, lol!

Those of you that know Jack, know that he has very definite and set things or people that he LOVES.

The list:

• Balls - all kinds, especially basketballs
  
• Horses (he calls neighs)
• Monkeys (we can indirectly thank Sarah for that one)
• His blanket
• Chocolate Milk in the morning
• Eden
• Daddy
• His Nana (even though he hasn't seen her since he was an infant)
• The Farm Folk
  
• Juice (even if it's really water)
• Taking the Sacrament
• Cars
• His yellow Pajama shirt
• Cats
• Dogs (at a distance only, lol!)
• Cows
  
• Shoes
• Grapes, Strawberries, Raisins, String Cheese, Yogurt, Hot Dogs, Pasta

Anyway, I'm sure like most of your kids you could write a significant list, however he has another than i am try to capitalize on and that's Evelyn Clayton!

Since before Evelyn was born Amanda, John, and I have half joked about how wonderful it would be for Jack to marry her. We talk about arranging their marriage, and brainwashing them to love each other. I often think about the statistics about arranged marriages and how much more successful they are. Of course i would never make my son marry anyone he didn't love or choose, BUT i can certainly encourage him! ;-) Not to mention I'd have the Claytons as part of my family forever and THAT would be a real treasure! Oh how we LOVE the Claytons! Kind, righteous, fun, deep, excessively talented in many areas of life...who could ask for more? Oh and let's not forget the great gene pool of good looks the kids both have! Our Grandchildren would be gorgeous!

When Amanda and Phil were over this past Sunday she suggested we get a photo of Jack and Evelyn together so while they are apart (they are moving to Nevada in a month) we can remind them of their love for one another until they see each other again some day. Hey, we can dream right? And if not, we can always try for Dallyn and Sarah! ;-)