If Status Mattered....

I always wondered what the big hype was about when people would talk and joke about being a "soccer mom." In recent weeks i have come to understand. It is a lot more work than i ever thought it would be and my kids are young and so practice is only twice a week. Well, it's a lot of work at least if you want to be the involved, dedicated parent anyway. So if statuses count, then I've made it (not that it was a goal by any means, i just wanted them to have exercise and be social).

I have the minivan, i have the kids in soccer.....

BUT those kinds of things don't really matter do they? Really, the thing i learnt the most through all of this is that if not careful it can only be something to pull a family apart, to stress it out, and make it (or me) grumpy and over-whelmed, and no one likes a grumpy family, no one IN the family does anyway.

I think there is a fine balance in life between all the things that are good to give us experience and things that distract us from what's most important. These things can be the same, it just depends on how we treat them and what our priorities are. I can only imagine what it's like for many, many other parents who have their children involved in multiple activities aside from school. When is enough, really enough? When it's a chore? When your family is falling apart? When you are so worn out that you don't "make time" for the essentials. What are the essentials for you?

So yes, I'm a Soccer Mum now, but the status that i really want is so much more than that and it's a status that only matters to one other person really. He doesn't care about the "things" we find to fill our time, He cares about the relationships we form and keep and the good we do with our time for the benefit of others.

This is truly a lesson that will make me ponder more the next time we are presented with another activity....we grow by experience right? Mostly i am glad though, the kids are enjoying themselves and other than John being at work during the week we have been fortunate to make it a family affair.

It poured for their first game! :-)

Some of Edy's teammates, The Ladybugs.

Eden is #4 (which just happens to be the number i was in HS for field hockey)

Immanuel is #2

Soccer and rain go hand in hand...

Iman's team, The Falcons (the teams pick their own names)

P.S. Give yourselves a pat on the back moms, regardless, it's a ton of work and quite exhausting at times! No one else could do it! ;-)

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness....Sometimes (The Progression)

....Well no doubt the Lord knew what he was talking about and really i suppose it's not necessarily the kind of cleanliness i am talking about. Truth be known, it's not the reason why i put so much effort into cleaning anyway (I'm not that good), but it does help me feel the Spirit more when everything is clean and tidy in my home.

I put more effort then perhaps i should into having things neat and orderly (nothing extreme here folks, just ask my parents or my husband, ;-)) because it helps me to not feel anxious. Imagine that! I think especially in our LDS culture (although i'm positive it's not exclusive to our culture) we have a bit of the "i need to be perfect" syndrome. But i can't blame culture, cause really, it's just about me and what feels comfortable to me. So yes, that's my confession, i am most motivated to have my house the way it is because it's how i manage my anxieties.

It's not really the best reason to do it though is it?

Except now and then i am gently and lovingly reminded of the wise words of Thomas S. Monson who said, "If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."

I cannot deny the truth of those words. It's a great thing, those gentle reminders....it helps me not feel guilt laden and overcome with awful feelings and even anxieties on days (or several days) like today has been or even this week.

Sometimes we have days when really the best we can do it almost nothing and you know what, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. We try the best we can and sometimes we need a break.

Yesterday i really had no desire to do anything, not work, not even bothering with facebook as much as i usually do (shock horror, i know!), so i sat on the couch.....just sat there....no book....no crochet even. It was a completely new experience for me...to just sit. And after a few mins Sarah came over to me and laid down on the couch with her head in my lap. I played with her hair.....and pushed and pulled her eyebrows around to make her make funny faces, which she begged me to do again and again.

And after i got up i thought......."she needed that." How many times do i miss opportunities to have heart to hearts with the kids or cuddly moments where they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that i love them and they are the most important thing? Yes, President Monson is right....

Then last Sunday we had Stake Conference and Elder Cornish of the Seventy was there. His talk was profound, i loved it. Afterwards, Immanuel had asked John if he could go find Elder Cornish and shake his hand. I was in the bathroom with Jack at the time he was seeking Elder Cornish out, and happened to be coming out and bumped into Immanuel as he was approaching Elder Cornish. I pushed through the crowds to hurry and take him to the car, but then paused as Elder Cornish turned around and smiled at my son, shook his hand and asked him his name. He asked how old Immanuel was and then turned to me, smiled and said "Thank you, thank you for all you do. You are doing a great work, it is the MOST important work there is, the most important."

As i reflect on this statement and how it made me feel i am again reminded that although it's important to provide a home where the Spirit can dwell, and a home where they can be safe, and clean, that's just a small part of what our job is here. We have princes and princesses at our feet. The need us, just us. I will do better. I will be the kind of mother the Saviour would be pleased with....because as surely as Elder Cornish said what he said, the Saviour thinks the same thing. I will not fail, i can do anything with the Saviour and His infinite atonement...it gives me strength and reminds me of who i am and why am i here.

So the cleanliness progression is:

• first i used to be quite messy with my new role as mother to quickly two children and a husband that was at work or school all the time.
• then i juggled things better but felt that i was a failure everyday as i could never be a perfect mother and perfect house keeper
• then i had anger and frustration because when we lived at the farm i realized i couldn't keep a home with 15 people in it even close to as clean and orderly as the last step (i know, i know, i'm so silly, i did get over it though! ;-))
• then to having almost a near perfect home but my children weren't being home-schooled very well (i just can't do both perfectly i've learned)
• to now feeling better about not being perfect in having a clean and tidy house.....being perfect in being a mother is more important and i can do that when Christ makes up the difference. He is teaching me today and this week about priorities. So maybe my house it more messy, but it really is okay.

I want no regrets....when they are grown and gone i will have endless amounts of time to keep things clean, but i will not be able to get back what i may have lost with them if i don't make them a priority over the state of my house now....visitors or not. They can judge me if they please, but the only judge that matters to me is my Saviour. He knows what our best is and that's all he requires.

Parachutes - Ingrid Michaelson

A Way Around the Rules....

We had a visitor this morning....

Perhaps she was trying to make amends for the mess she made the other morning when she ripped through my trash bags.....

But her peace offering was....enough, especially after seeing the look of excitement on the faces of my children. They were the ones along with John that cleaned up the trash, and if they can forgive, surely so can i. Not that it took me long before i was opening a can of tuna and feeding her leftovers of mac & cheese ( i know not the best diet, but hey when you're starving anything is better than nothing....besides it's got to be better than trash!)

The kids were all ready to make her a home and give up their blankets etc., but i reminded them that not only did she probably have fleas (and who knows what else), but we had a bigger problem....Mike and Marilyn.

They are our lovely landlords, and yes they really are terrific, however they wouldn't let us bring our two cats with us from the farm. Therefore we cannot make it look like she is our pet in any shape or form....but food i can give her...at least until i get caught! ;-)

So yeh, sometimes there's a way around the rules, after all she's not ours is she? Well not yet anyway, but something tells me she'll be back tomorrow. Who am i kidding, the kids have been out on our back porch since 8:45am and it's now 11am and they are still there loving her to death.

This is Jack being excited about the cat, lol!

Welcome Calico!

The Skylight Cave....

One of our favorite past times is being outside in the woods either camping or ugh, dare i say the word, "hiking" (I'd much rather prefer to call it a walk, as hikes make me think of blisters!) and nothing is better than doing those things than doing them with people we love.

On Labor Day the Sowbys had pity on us and decided they'd starved us enough of their attention and went on a walk with us to see the Skylight Cave. (J/K, they are pretty busy people really, with Craig's own recording business and Taralyn being in medical school. ;-)) But it was fun to spend time with them again and the weather was perfect! Have i mentioned that i LOVE Fall before? I think only maybe a million times....

It wasn't that really long of a walk (little over a mile one way i think) and Sarah didn't complain horribly either, just mildly. It was really neat to see the cave and although it went in quite a bit further we only has the use of my camera flash to light the way and the ground was quite slippery so our exploring abilities were somewhat limited.

Next time we will make sure we bring a flashlight, and also perhaps keep EQ, the Sowby's dog, on a leash the whole time as he had the unfortunate (or fortunate i think in his eyes) encounter with some unknown feces which he proceeded to roll in. Poor Taralyn had the job of trying to baby wipe him to death as i poured water across his neck. In hind sight it's quite funny, but I'm sure she wasn't thinking so at the time! ;-)

I love being by the Appalachians. There are so many different places to walk and camp around here and it is absolutely gorgeous! Thanks for the fun morning!

Back Row L to R: Iman, John, Jack, Craig, Ellis, Taralyn

Front Row L to R: Sarah, Eden, EQ (aka the Poop Smith) and Suede

Little Sarah

I love this picture. I was trying to take a picture and it was being slow i guess so i went from trying to take a horizontal pic to a vertical one, when it finally decided to go off and the effect was this. Suede, watch out, you're being time warped...or something. ;-)

John & Jack

The entrance to the cave...

Yes, that's right he looks worried...
he pretty much whined the whole time we were in the cave...
guess he didn't appreciate the dark.

See the skylight above?

We Will Never Forget....

It's hard to imagine that it's been 9 years already and that next year it will have already been ten years since the attack on the lives of all too many Americans. I remember being in Idaho, almost ready to have Immanuel just 7 weeks later. I remember when i saw it on television being stunned beyond words. I also remember thinking, "this is the world in which i will have to raise my son."

There's a fine line in my opinion between honoring and celebrating. When i explained to Eden that this morning before her soccer game that we would be honoring those that died and those that risked their lives and even lost them to save others in the attack, she replied, "but why are we celebrating death?" What an interesting comment, i thought. But as i observed the tribute today in Harrogate Park, it was nothing but honor. The firemen and rescue squads were all there with the flag displayed high. A local band played the National Anthem, and to me it was a way to show to the world, that no matter what anyone else thinks of us, we will persevere, we will and do stand for freedom and honor and yes, even righteousness.

I am grateful for the patriotic and those that fight for freedom everyday. I am grateful for the freedoms we have in this country, and i am grateful that i am not the only one who values this. I am grateful that despite the evils around us, i know that there is still good in the world, and that my children can persevere also and stand for truth even today.

This time with Daddy....

...and also this time the weather wasn't over 100 degrees. It's amazing how much more enjoyable things can be when it's not hot out eh? lol. I am SO glad that summer is coming to a close. I know I'm probably one of the few, but i really do not like Summer time.

Well anyway the weather was awesome and so last week after we went fishing with the Obsbornes we went to the Zoo again, only this time John was able to go and stay the whole time. The kids had a lot more fun as we got to see everything they wanted to.

John wanted to buy me the "Yee Haw" hat (as Jack would call it)in the gift shop. I felt a little self conscious in it, but tried to trust his and the kids' judgment that i didn't look weird wearing it. I guess Tennessee is rubbing off on all of us! ;-) I LOVE it here!

Jack had his first time on the carousel and unfortunately even though we picked a Zebra, which he loves because technically it's still a "neigh" (although he can say Zebra now), he screamed bloody murder. I sat on there with him and hoped that once it got going he'd calm down and start enjoying himself. Well that didn't really happen although i do think he laughed once or twice. When we were done i asked him if he had a good time he said yes. So then i asked him if he wanted to go on it again sometime and he loudly exclaimed NO! LOL. Well perhaps with age he'll get over it. The other kids picked their favorite animals and so Sarah found a Gorilla, Eden a Cheetah, and Iman, who didn't seem too bothered picked a Red Panda.

We then found a brick wall with animals on it and they all had their photo taken by whatever favorite animal was displayed there. There weren't any horses, so Jack picked a Giraffe, which i guess is close enough. ;-) Even John and i had our photos taken too. It really was a fun family day. Man, how i wish Saturday was everyday! There's nothing more rewarding than fun with my family. I often wish i could freeze frame them....well at least i have my pictures to help me remember all the fun along the way.

Enjoy!

Jack and his pouty face...i can't even remember why he was pouting anymore, lol!

Pondering....

So handsome....

I LOVE this man!

On the big brass turtle...

I had to hold Jack on

Shear terror! Am i awful for making him go on it?

These frogs sprayed water from their mouths. Jack loved the frogs!

My little curly locks and my new "Yee Haw" hat. ;-)!